(the) Road to the Deep East

JRA(Japan Racing Association), which operates publicly-managed horse racing in Japan, announced that it will use an ’Engrish’ nickname for maiden races.

Make Debut ** (**=name of the race track)

Japan has been using the translated kanji races for maiden horses, shin-ba (新馬, can be re-translated ' new horse'). JRA expects that this nickname will make shin-ba race 'more understandable' or 'friendlier', but I don't think so.

We can see a lot of Japanese use some weird katakana English words to make the sound of the words better, but this is one of the worst examples. It doesn't make sense both in Japanese and English, and most importantly, Kakkowarui!!


But why did JRA have to choose such a terrible nickname?

To tell the truth, before JRA nicknames maiden races as such, other local associations have already used more kakkoii English names. For example,

Fresh challenge (Hokkaido)
Future(Iwate)
Fresh Gold(Nagoya)
First Try(Hyogo)
Elite Story(Fukuyama)
Rookie Stage(Saga)
Strong Horse(Arao)

I liked 'Elite Story' and 'Rookie Story.' But as you see, there were no names left for JRA, anyway

Why didn't JRA used 'Maiden race' in katakana? There are some grade races of English names directly imported from America or other countries. (Hanshin Juvenile Fillies, Asahi-hai Futurity Stakes.)

It may be because the word 'maiden' is not so popular word excluding iron one and rosen one in Japan.

Then, I'd like to advocate some kakoii English-Japanese words.
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Virgin Challenge(ヴァージンチャレンジ）
'Virgin' is more popular than 'maiden' as katakana words in Japan, so it is more understandable than 'maiden race' One problem is 'virgin' is mainly used for women in Japan, so it may be regarded as filly's limited race. And when somebody says, 'she lost 'virgin challenge', it becomes ambiguous and people can't understand whether the horse won or lost actually.

Strawberry Summer Challenge （ストロベリーサマーチャレンジ）
'Strawberry' is used to explain the sweet feeling of the first experience. Originally, it was 'lolita strawberry summer challenge', but 'lolita' was censored by anti-child porn law.

Debut Stage (デビューステージ）
This phrase is used as katakana English often, so if JRA wants to adhere to 'debut', this 'debut stage' is better and can explain the meaning of maiden race more. Debut Stage Hakodate, Debut Stage Tokyo... it still sounds like a name of an apartment building, but still has a part of kakkoiiness of English words.


Just like when they Nara citizens saw Sento-kun (bizarre mascot of Nara city) first, some people who thought 'Make debut' nasty may protest against JRA. The best solution is... Use 'shin-ba' again

Kotooshu, a Bulgarian sumo wrestler who won the championship last Saturday, started his official blog titled 'ちゃんこ鍋とヨーグルトって意外と合うんです(Chanko-nabe to yogurt tte igaito aundesu)' in Japanse.

http://kotooshu.aspota.jp/

This title can be trasnlated 'Chanko-nabe matches yogurt unexpectedly.' Chanko-nabe is a traditional dish cooked at Sumo gyms. It's a kind of soup like bouillabaisse , and sumo wrestlers eat it everyday. Needless to say, Yogurt is a daily and traditional dish in Bulgaria. I don't think it's good idea to eat them together, but in this title, this Ozeki from Bulgaria may imply that he could assimilate in Japanese culture easily and it was not as hard as many people imagine.

This blog is now becoming popular among Japanese. But that's might not be in the exact same way he had expected. Although its title is written in kanji and hiragana, he posts the entry in all hiragana, and many Japanese think it's 'kawaii.'(cute)

Imagine how he posted the entry. The man over 200cm and 150kg types these hiragana words with biggest palm in front of the smallest palm top. After two-hour struggle, he posted a picture, just saying 'たい２ひき', or 'おさけ'. Certainly, this gap is kawaii.

As many people starts blogging, it looks he spent all his passion on the first day and hadn't posted any since May 26th, but if he can keep it , it's sure he can become a famous blogger in Japanese blogsphere like Nakagawa Shokotan.

It's an interesting phenomenon. In ancient days, in Heian Period, when the capital of Japan was Kyoto, hiragana was the letter mainly used women, hence Japanese men thought the handwriting in hiragana from women is lovely. Now Japanese women became cleverer and read books more than average men, so the traditional usage of hiragana was lost. But when it was used by a foreign wrestler, the function of hiragana reappeared in this 21st century.

Anyway, now, here is a hint of how to become a lovely gaijin in Japan. 'Hiragana makes you lovely.'

Even when you are very good at Japanese and know tons of kanji or Japanese old saying, the usage of your perfect Japanese knowledge will just make you 'sugoi'(great) person, but not friendly person.

When you are working in Japan as an executive of Japanese company, give orders to your men in hiragana. It's sure the too much preaching in Japanese just irritate your subordinates, but simple words in hiragana make them understand that you are thinking about them. For example, when you want to order your man to revise the document he made, just say, 'だめ。やりなおし。(rejected. Revise it.)'.

Of course, it depends on the situation and your personality, but I think this strategy is effective, especially, when you are as fat as sumo wrestler. So, when you feel you are isolated by closed Japanese society, e-mail them in hiragana.

When an ancient woman fell in love with a man 1000 years ago, she sent a letter in hiragana even if she could read and write kanji perfectly. So, this approach is not guilty, but based on Japanese tradition more than modern Japanese's stupid short phone mails.

It is 16 years since Japanese professional soccer league J-League was organized in 1992. As far as I can remember, it is the first usage of alphabet 'J' as a kakkoii acronym of Japan. J-POP, J-Bungaku(literature), J-PHONE, J-BEEF, J-POKE... tons of ' J' was born and disappeared in these 16 years, but it seems now we witnessed another kind of 'J' from the birthplace of 'J'. J-Hooligan.

Last Saturday, at the J-LEAGUE football game between Urawa Reds(Saitama) and Gamba Osaka(Osaka) held at Saitama stadium, Gamba fans provoked Reds fans by throwing water balloons until they hit the kids fans from Urawa. Fans of both glared at each other over the fence and security guards, but when Gamba won the game by 3-2 and Gamba fans were crazed, Urafan's blew their top and locked up Gamba fans in the stadium for over 2 hours. 1,500 Gamba fans were rescued by the Police and escaped from the stadium, and Reds fans let them go after the representative of Gamba fans apologized them for the bad behavior during the game.

Fortunately, there weren't any fans from both team who died during this turmoil, but one 35 year-old Gamba fan who fell from the stand broke his leg and was taken to the hospital.
(article from Japan Times.)
http://search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/sj20080518a1.html
...
Some people from the countries where football is more and fans go mad more than Japan may say, they are just 'fans' , not hooligans. But it's still amazing Japanese people can become such crazy at football game, and behave like that.

The picture taken during the game looks to be the one from other Asian countries, which are very close to Japan, especially, when their national team oppose to Japan national team for the the color of uniforms they wear.


Just as they have been doing for 2000 years or more, it seems Japanese people are still good at copying foreign products and arrange them for internal use.

Look at this picture. They even copy the hand sign of original countries!!



...However, is this the first J-Hooligan and nationalists or conservative people should lament for the degenerated moral of modern Japanese? I don't think so. To tell the truth, it's not the first turmoil caused by sports in this country.

Thanks to the Internet ( mainly because of a famous anime, Ouran High School Host Club I guess) now one of the most unique sex culture for women, 'Host' is recognized by the world with its too precise synonym, 'boy geisyha'. Now it looks hosts are becoming as famous as other Japanese unique professions, such as geisha, ninjas, sumo wrestlers, cosplay maids, and otakus. It'll be a matter of time some foreign women go to host clubs in Shinjuku to experience exoticism of this country, just like they go and see kabuki or sumo in Japan.

But hotel charge in Tokyo is very high, so if possible, foreign travelers must want to see those unique products all together in one day, to save the money. For those travelers, now a man is preparing for his debut. Interestingly, an ex-host is going to make his debut as a sumo wrestler.

This man, Yamashita Tomonori, 20 years old, was working in Japanese sex industry in Minami, Osaka for years after he left high school. He was working at Kyabakura as a waiter, and he experienced 'host' job as a part time, 1,000 yens for one hour hosting.

However, last February, he visited a Takasago beya, a famous sumo gym where Yokozuna Asashoryu belongs to, with his father, and he was impressed by this very manly job. And he came to think that he has to train himself again as a sumo wrestler, leaving the sex industry. And thanks to the connection of his father, who is rakugo-ka (Japanese traditional style comedian), he could enter the gym, and started his sumo training.

His debut was delayed for one serious problem comes from his past career. Needless to say, for Japanese women's preference, hosts have to become skinny. But sumo wrestlers are... So, first thing he had to do was to gain his weight until 67kg. He eats 3 bowls of rice for one meal, and drinks a lot of milk, advised by Asashoryu. And now he is going to attend to the trial to become professional sumo wrestler in May. If he can pass this trial, he will become the first host sumo wrestler in its 300-year history.

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It's a very interesting tale. One boy, who was working in sex industry, finds his vocation after seeing a live sumo wrestling. And I think his career as a host will help in his sumo road. It may sound sumo wrestler and host are quite different jobs, but there are things in common.

First, a host sometimes has to embrace fat, ugly, stinky human beings reluctantly, but it's exactly same as sumo wrestlers. Only the difference is its sex.

Second, a host has to flatter to old human beings, to get some money as a boy geisha. But it's also same as sumo wrestlers. Sumo wrestlers usually has sponsors from their hometown(what is called tanimachi), and receive financial supports from them. Although it is considered as sports, but in some important matches (for example, when one more winning required to become yokozuna) the money helps the wrestler a lot. I don't mention in details, but please just guess. It's a kind of taboo of this sacred sport, and I'll be assassinated by a yakuza if I do.

Not for only fixed matches , to become a trainer(oyakata) and open a sumo gym (sumo beya)after the retirement, sumo wrestler has to purchase the license from other oyakatas, and its price is over 100,000,000 yens, and can't be managed from the monthly wage paid by the Sumo commision.

*It's off topic, but this system why some gaijin sumo wrestlers (such as Akebono or Konishiki) couldn't become oyakatas after their retirement. They couldn't get enough money from their sponsors.

Anyway, his sociability trained in host clubs will help his career mainly in two points.

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And now Sumo is in its Ice Age, as well as music industry. Almost all the strong ones are gaijins, and Japanese audience is waiting for the appearance of handsome and strong wrestler, just like ancient heros like Takano hana or Chiyono Fuji. Will this ex-host sumo man able to become the handsome hero of the next generation?? Let's look at his picture.

http://www.nikkansports.com/sports/sumo/news/p-sp-tp3-20080409-345959.html
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Oh, Hmm... well, he looks very strong!! Yes, very strong!! I say. Strong ne!! One thing I could learn is, everybody can become hosts and sumo wrestlers easily, if we want, only we are tall enough. The point is after the person became the one. It seems he still looks closer to hosts, so I wish he tries his best and can become more like sumo wrestlers.

Koji was the outstanding pitcher on a high school baseball team, and his classmate, Yuki was always supporting him. It was very natural they fell in love. After three-year efforts, Koji and his team could compete in the national tournament.

They won at the first and second game, however, the opponent of the third round was a bit tough. The game became a close one. In the bottom of 8th inning, the score was 2 to 1, Koji's team was leading, but bases were loaded. It was a clutch.

“No!!No!! I can't pitch anymore!!”
Then Koji took a break and shouted in the dugout. But then he heard a familiar voice.
“You are a man!! You can do it!!”

It was Yuki. Koji was pleased at the appearance of his lover, but his anxiety didn't disappear.

“Yuki... but they hit every balls I throw... I don't know to which course I should pitch next...”
Then Yuki heave a sigh, and go toward to him, and said.

“Just relax. I cast a spell on you.”
“What?”
“Close your eyes...”

Then Yuki kissed Koji, on his cheek.


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It's not an episode of baseball manga from Adachi Mitsuru. It happened in the reality and over 10 millions people witnessed this TOO romantic kissing on TV.

You don't believe that? Well, seeing is believing. Here is the picture. (click read more)